Releasing the Bind of Perfectionism

Perfectionism is likely the core to most of the wounding on our Planet.

This has been true for me.  I was once in a career where my boss was so focused on the mistakes that I made and made it clear that perfection was the only acceptable product.  For much of the time that I reported to that person, it felt that there was a sense of “let’s wait for your next mistake”, and it was guaranteed to be a point made on my performance appraisal.  This mindset guaranteed my making the next mistake (I believe our thoughts create outcomes).  I was operating under a fear-based mindset that was a guaranteed trap that I would fall into cyclically.  

At one point, I realized that I was passing this energy onto some of my own employees.  I decided to run an experiment and change the only thing I could change…myself.  I decided to see one particular employee in the light of their highest potential. Daily I would send this energy out to him and mentally thanking him for his amazing work. Suddenly that individual began to shift, and a new theme began to emerge.   The employee who I had given up on at one point was now growing a renewed sense of self and suddenly wanted more out of his career.

This employee was coming up with amazing ideas that were transforming his performance and our workgroup.  He took a new interest in helping his peers and found that he was really finding fulfillment in serving his peers.  The more he did this, the more favorable the response from his peers and leaders. I was really impressed with the shift.

In an annual one on one skip level meeting with this gentleman, I asked him what he attributed the shift to.  He said that he woke up one day and realized he had just been existing and no longer wanted that.  He decided to squeeze every drop out of this life that he could, and that included his “8 to 5 gig”.  I complimented his commitment and shared how impressed and proud I was of him. He thanked me for believing in him and giving him the space that he needed to explore new ways of doing his job.

Did my shift in how I saw the employee make him perfect?  No, not at all, but it did give me and him space to do things differently and bring in more creativity and ideas that served in a bigger way.  Neither of us held the belief that perfection was the only option, and we opened to the possibilities that there were less ridged ways to find better outcomes – truly a win-win for us all.

The expectation and rigidity of perfectionism really does not serve and causes a great deal of harm.  I ask you to consider where you might be placing expectations of perfection on yourself, your kids, your partner, and even your employees.  Consider how this could be more damaging than you realize.